Oh, dear reader, October is a fickle mistress.  Bright and blowing one minute, and verily the next minute, yielding a note from one’s local refuse disposal company instructing one to ‘try keeping your cardboard out of the rain’ because then it will invariably a) weigh less and b) not smell like a thousand compressed jock straps laden with kimchi.  But, I digress.  As the weather begins to pull fewer punches, we advocate pulling more pints.  Here are three of our favorites from the World’s Almost But Not Quite End Kitchen and Bar, here on the shores of Lake Bedswette.

 

Monkey’s Uncle IPA:  Did you know that monkeys are fond of consuming their own ejaculate?  Neither did we!  But, the brewmaster of Morosely Moroccan Beverage Co. certainly did.  Tangy.  Piquant.  Musky.  Rather like that bonobo centerfold on page 22.  (Morosely Moroccan Beverage Ltd, Marrakech)

 

Bump in the Night Brown Ale:  The bump, in the case of Sarah Jean Anderson, turned out to be Rodney’s when it was delivered.  The ABV on this makes no promises.  (Bottom Bunk Brewery, West Boylston, MA)

 

Behind The Binder Imperial Porter:  It’s election season.  For every binder full of able-bodied women, there must be a ringmaster.  Consuming enough of this beverage will induce delusions of grandeur strong enough to hold your hair in place without any Brylcreem whatsoever–what it won’t do, sadly, is erase the drivel that  you’ll be spouting in the meantime.  Thankfully, 47% of you won’t notice, and the other 53% will decide that it’s PeeWee Herman, and dance accordingly.  (Home By Five Brewing Company, Pensionne, Grand Caymans)

 

And there you have it, gentle reader.  Don’t be caught, as so many squirrels are at this time of year, without a nut in your mouth, so to speak–be sure to savor the delights of the season.  Properly.  Fully.  Deeply.  Perhaps several times more than is prudent.  I hear they make a cream for that.