Two men are lost in the desert. The first says to the second, “I have good news and I have bad news.” The second asks the first to start with the bad news.
“The bad news is, we only have sand to eat.”
“What’s the good news?”
“We have a lot of it.”
For many a young lady (or gent, captivated by tales of orphan triumph in the face of adversity), the first indication that one might someday quite enjoy being able to quaff a grownup tipple came in the form of L.M. Montgomery’s classic Anne of Green Gables, in the infamous raspberry cordial scene.
New verse from our East Coast Correspondent.
The Farmer General speaks with Amanda Dumont–farmer, classically-trained opera singer, lover of tractors.
Pine mouth. Not just for your Great-Aunt anymore.
Dear Rennie,
The dog days of summer always make me question the point in continuing on. My muumuu collection has lost its savor. I’m over the paleta craze. I don’t care how much artisinal elderflower water you made this spring, which chef secretly snorts coke off of the back of every menu in his restaurant after close, or how thoroughly you researched that chorizo. But then I remember that if I’m dead, I won’t have any way of seeing who’ll actually come to my funeral. Suggestions? I need something to stay my hand that isn’t as tired as last night’s chardonnay.
Yours truly,
Pestering the Reaper About Takeout
Part of gardening is learning to let go. It’s so easy to get attached to the first tender cotyledons that pop up from your seed trays in mid-March, those dazzling little green gems that make your eyes salivate* for spring. You make silent promises to each and every one that you will do everything in your power to help it grow up and contribute to the best harvest possible. But before you know it the temperatures are dangerously high, primary leaves are dotted with blight, and the insects are hungry. Losses will be incurred. There are plenty of tips and tricks for preventing blights and insect damage in your garden, but here I focus on a few drinks to steady your hand after scraping…
There’s Survivor Man. And Man Vs. Wild. And then, there’s the intrepid Marie-Laure, and Survival Cheese!
1. When traveling by bus, you should strive to achieve a buzz that allows you to easily amuse yourself with the passing license plates. For example, pack a cleverly-disguised amount of The Good Doctor and enjoy while trying to make personal ad abbreviations out of license plate numbers. “LNT 30F” is a total gimmie, obviously standing for “Loves Nipple Twists, 30 F.” Something like “860 YFJ” will probably require a few extra sips before you arrive at “860 lbs, Yearning For Jam.” If that’s too depressing, go with “owns 860 pairs of Yellow Fluorescent Jeans.” 2. If you find yourself stuck in a particularly bad airport– say, LAX– for over 10 hours, recite the Serenity Prayer while making a beeline for the nearest bar.…
When love goes awry. With food. Terse verse from the east coast.