I am
trying to
listen
closely.

To feel
and know
all
the vibrations
of the universe.
Spectacular.
Granular.
They quiver and shake
without
judgement.
But still
I ask
them
stupid questions.
Questions like:
Did I make the right decision?
Will I finally be free?
Can I reject a false prophet for the true one?
Can I earn the highest score on the double-headed snake video game?
The highest score of all time?
Come on.
I really want to.
I really want to see
my name
bulbed-up
among the highest-scoring babes.
I really want
to be one.
So cool and popular and bright
like California.
So?
Well, you’re always getting in my way
and I, like others,
like to blame
others.
And that is why I can’t afford a ticket to California this year.
Look here,
Lookie-loo,
I, too,
live in a California
zoo.
Smoke a roo
And change my shoe
So I can step lightly through
today’s proctoring.
Thank goodness that man
I had been
excited about
texted to break up with me
before we even reached
section two
of the snake video game
and/or
exam
and/or
I
would have flown
right out the
window.

A hundred points right there.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
A breakup always grounds me.
So I left the arcade testing site early
to buy a lamp in the shape of an owl.
I take wisdom in whatever form she takes,
wherever she may be,
even if I need to rewire the whole thing,
apply gold filament,
some blue diamonds,
AND buy a whole new lightbulb.
Lord, what this
beaten-ass
broke-up
lost-cause
dead-old
high-end
owl lamp
has been through!
The things she has seen through her weary, irreplaceable eyes.
But I have adopted her now.
My rescue owl lamp.
Of course,
there were many suitors.
Many potential buyers.
Many who thought–
My home!
I will offer you my home!
A good home at last!
But no.
I signed the paperwork
first,
you see.
And I took all the photos with her
first.
And I posted them on Instagram
first.
And I tagged
everyone,
Absolutely everyone,
FIRST.
So she’s mine.
See?
And she is safe with me
which is a
first.
Yes,
for the first time,
something
–anything–
is safe with me.