A Literary Feast

The Farmer General > Recent > Uncategorized > Page 31

Posts from the “Uncategorized” Category

Notable and Potable Vol. 2: Approaching An Understanding Of The Fizz

Posted on April 15th, 2011

I didn’t know anything about Fizz drinks until a friend assembled all of the ingredients for a Ramos Gin Fizz and invited me over for the frothy ambrosia in August of 2009. I paid little attention to what she was doing to create the drink at the time, but I did raise an eyebrow when I saw some heavy cream go into the mix. I had always assumed that gin and dairy should conduct their potentially curdlesome affair in shameful darkness, if at all, and I asked her if she was sure about this.

Categories: Uncategorized

Purple Tickets: Part 3

Posted on April 15th, 2011

I got hot breakfast, too (a blue ticket), in exchange for my service in the Safety Patrol. The overcast atmosphere of the cafeteria at breakfast time left me feeling a bit melancholy, drawing down my energy and honing my resignation to the impending school day. It seemed like there was always one basketball bouncing languidly across the floor, echoing plaintively, moping. The gym teacher supervised the morning cafeteria, authoritative whistle around his neck. If it was rainy out −and it often was− the half-lit cafeteria/gym served as the early morning recess area as well as a place for kids such as myself to scarf down a toasted hamburger bun (leftover from the previous day’s lunch) with melted American cheese, some canned pears and a…

Categories: Uncategorized

Rock Hobo Road, Vol. 4: Eat My Rider

Posted on April 13th, 2011

Before I get on with the story, I have to make a few things clear about touring, and my job as a lighting designer. (Henceforth referred to as “LD”)

LD’s are a weird bunch. They are often loners, and not well understood. In the grand scheme of things it’s a lonely existence being surrounded by the sound guys, all chummy and high fiving about PA systems and amps and guitars. Rarely is there anyone to high-five the the LD about getting all the moving lights and dimmers to fit on one DMX line. Yeah, I know. Nerds.

Categories: Uncategorized

The Portlandbury Tales: General Prologue

Posted on April 13th, 2011

(ed: To celebrate National Poetry Month, I embark on my most ambitious, artistically questionable endeavor to date in the Add-Verse series: man-handling Chaucer. I dedicate these efforts to my most beloved medievalist, my mom: little did you know what reading Piers Plowman to me as a bedtime story would one day engender. Fair Audience: should you read to the very end of this offering, email your mailing address to ‘[email protected]’. I will send you a limited edition sticker, you glutton for punishment, you.)

Categories: Uncategorized

Purple Tickets: Part 2

Posted on April 13th, 2011

I held my purple ticket so tightly that it conformed to the heart line of my palm. We lined up at the classroom door, and then marched down the hall, single file, alphabetically by last name (or in boy-girl-boy-girl order if there had been any acting up that necessitated a squelching of horseplay), to the cafeteria. All of the different classroom lunch lines were tributaries to the main cafeteria river-line, and the confluences were where I saw my other, luckier friends − ones who weren’t in Mrs. Pukey’s class. The savory aroma would jog my appetite, and I would begin to salivate. I tried to make idle chitchat with Corey Simpson and Christine Flatt while we were queuing up, but I was too distracted…

Categories: Uncategorized

Purple Tickets: Part 1

Posted on April 11th, 2011

Every school day at noon, Mrs. Uttke (“Mrs. Pukey”) attempted to shush us all into submission, and if that didn’t work, she’d resort to raising a shrill voice that echoed against the classroom walls. Her eyes flashed red, and the flab on her cheeks and arms quivered with impatience. Strung out and running on fumes, we’d manage to assemble into a fidgety line with our little hands out, and she checked our names against the list that sorted us by Poor, Kind of Poor, and Not Poor. She walked down the line, doling out a little purple ticket for all of the hot lunch students from the roll she kept in her yellow oak desk. Some kids’ families paid full price for the luxury…

Categories: Uncategorized

Firefly Dusks And Chick Days: The Farmer General Chats With Jenna Woginrich

Posted on April 9th, 2011

Farmer, shepherd, author, blogger, banjo frailer, fiddler-player, and graphic designer–Jenna Woginrich is one busy lady. Which makes us all the more excited that she took time away from her farm to answer a few of our questions. I’ve been eagerly reading her words since the publication of Made From Scratch, and following the growth of her flock at Cold Antler Farm during her first lambing season. Jenna’s wry honesty and passion for her land are the perfect antidote to a long winter of inactivity–as well as inspiration to get out and to get busy with the business of growing your own food.

Categories: Uncategorized

Ask Rennie Vol. 4: Embrace Us, Asparagus

Posted on April 8th, 2011

Dear Rennie,

Even knowing, as I do now, that the smell of one’s urine has nothing to do with a potential sexually transmitted disease, and everything to do with having consumed asparagus recently, those slender stalks still strike terror into my very heart whenever I espy them on a menu. How would you recommend that I conquer this fear? I don’t want to forever look like a culinary rube when Spring farm-to-table time rolls around. Nor do I want the continual night terrors.

yours truly,

Fearful Of Pee in Poughkeepsie

Categories: Uncategorized