Dear Rennie,

I don’t know if it’s Occupy Wall St., that freak October snowstorm or what, but my holiday fervor has about as much bounce as the elastic in Blanche DuBois’ oldest girdle. In order to try to plump up our sagging seasonal bouffants, my roommates and I have decided to put on a traditional living crèche. We’re a little confused—how much of a faux pas is it to eat the participating animals afterwards? We’re hoping the answer is ‘not at all’, because it’s this lamb, or, a tube of E-Z Cheez. And the E-Z Cheez has never crapped in the living room.

Yours in nativity play fellowship,

Loving Animals Really in Dunwoodie