(ed: When last we saw our hero, he had asked of the heavens: True Barbeque. Can I make it? Here is Part Two of this Thrilling Tale! It is the Middle Part!)

I had no idea where to begin, so I fired up The Internet, which is loaded with information about how to make your own barbeque (and also depraved pornography). After acquiring an equal measure of each, I learned that the key to barbeque is not fire, but smoke. In learning the ways of fire, I always considered smoke a byproduct. It was something that fouled one’s eyes if you opened the lid of the grill too quickly. I never thought of it as an ingredient.