A Literary Feast

Blog Archives

Caramel Apple, Dulce Filled, Burning Spoon

Posted on February 14th, 2012

Caramel apple, dulce filled, burning spoon, Dark smell of nori, wrappers dark and bright, What secret flavor is clasped between your layers? What primal palate does crab touch with its pincers? Ai, Love is a journey through all dive bars, Where closeted air tastes sharply of fermented grain: Love is a war of lightening Two recipes ruined by artificial sweetness. Lick by lick, I drink your tiny infinity, Your margarine, your almonds slivered, your Maillard villages, Ribs generate fire, transformed by heat’s bite, Smoke pink through the marrow channels of blood To precipitate a nocturnal consummation To be dinner, eaten by fridge light in the dark.

The Best Part, Give Or Take

Posted on February 14th, 2012

February wears a suit of gray. Not the fitted darkness that is December or January. But rather a frayed and abrasive mist which enters the void and hovers. Low. Ghostly, at hip level or lower. Its skin is a clammy blanket that covers open nerves and spring creeks of thick blood. Bone is cold and marrow chilled. Gray is blue if pigment could only trespass, frigid dark. Gray is all. Dark again. Drip. The branches underside skew darker than that of their drier sliver top-skins. Damp at midday still, brushing cool surface clay and channeling moisture to hang suspended. Setting sun yields black now, underneath, inhaling earth colorless and dead. Truth reveals this to be the business end of February. Gray forms the shadow…

Notable And Potable Vol. 17: The Spirits Are Willing, And The Flesh Is At Cocktail Week

Posted on February 13th, 2012

Being the cocktail festival neophyte that I was, I went to Portland Cocktail Week with stuffy journalistic goals of remaining focused, attentive, and slightly sober. In retrospect, I did pretty well– filling an index card with notes during a noontime blind tasting of eight tequilas held in a room warm with bodies and practically damp with agave fumes, achieving a buzz just enough to get me doing live band karaoke and befriending a man who designed a robot, partying with said robot, waking up feeling spunky enough to start my day with a mezcal tasting– and so on. I had managed to achieve a harmonious tripartite homeostasis with my intake of nutrients, water, and spirits, and I held onto it. Until the last day.…

Oysters In Your Mustache: The Rise and Inevitable Future Decline of the Cocktail and Oyster Bar

Posted on February 13th, 2012

The year is 1996. The setting – an enormous industrial loft-style lounge with high ceilings, exposed pipes and sleek modern couches and coffee tables. Narcotic beats by Bristol trip hop groups waft over the space from the sound system designed to get the most bass out of every beat. On one of the couches, a man and a woman in clean black turtlenecks and Chelsea boots lounge with martinis. Remember Pearl Jam? Says the man. What happened to them? I haven’t listened to them since their first album – Ten, was it? Is it too early to feel nostalgic for them? Says the woman and giggles self-consciously. Speaking of grunge – wasn’t this place a dingy dive bar just a couple of years ago?…

Tropic of Cutlet

Posted on February 13th, 2012

To eat you must first open your mouth. You must have an alimentary canal, and a little knowledge of forks. It is not necessary to have a knife or mandoline. The essential thing is to want to eat. Then it is a meal. I am cooking. It is you, cutlet, that I am eating. I wish that I could eat better, or more languidly, but, then perhaps you never have actually consented to dine with me. Others have eaten you and only half finished, leaving you cold. They claimed to eat beautifully, but, were, let’s face it, kind of picky in the end. It is the somethingth of February—I no longer keep track of the menus. Would you say—the takeout of last week? There…

Drinking Alone With Attempted Blogger

Posted on February 13th, 2012

What’s dark about Massachusetts? Well, other than the months between December and March, the first thing that comes to mind is pizza. But this issue’s theme — I love you, but I’ve chosen dark meat — implies a conscious decision, and no one really chooses Massachusetts pizza. Like snow shoveling and long underwear, it’s an unfortunate aspect of New England life that one must solemnly accept, but under no circumstances, embrace. What I really needed, I decided, was an honest-to-goodness adventure on the dark side. Why not start with beer? It’s practically the official drink of Massachusetts and you can’t get any darker than drinking alone. Step 1: Open fridge and discover leftovers of dubious age and one empty bottle of wine. Step 2:…

Agaricus the Champ(ignon)

Posted on February 13th, 2012

In an issue about the dark side of epicurean endeavors you might guess an article about mushrooms would focus on the mysterious effects of the few and illustrious psychotropic fungi. Good guess-but I have no experience with psychotropics in any form, so this article must be about something else entirely. It will, in fact, explore the notion that the mushroom, specifically the mature agaricus bisporous or portobello, is the dark meat of the meatless world. Agaricus bisporous is the most common species of edible mushroom. Many popular “varieties” – white mushroom, button mushroom, crimini mushroom, Swiss-Roman-or-Italian brown mushroom, champignon mushroom and portobello mushroom – are actually the very same agaricus at different stages of maturity. Historically harvested in grassy fields after cool autumn rainfalls,…

You Say ‘Salud’ I Say ‘Satan’: Satanic Feasting In Early Modern Europe

Posted on February 13th, 2012

Witches throughout history have always thrown the greatest parties. Part of what made them so great was that witches spared no expense, hiring only the best caterers Tattenwang had to offer. More important was their exclusivity. Of course, even in the height of the glamorous 17th century, there were always bitter detractors would spoil it for everyone by telling all. During one witches’ Sabbath, told a country rube called Anna Pappenheimer, witches from near and far arrived to the party riding on broomsticks and pitchforks. A bit cliché, maybe, but this was Bavaria. She further disclosed that after an amaranthine-robed Satan arrived in a puff of sulfur-smoke and farts, they supped on “disgusting” foods like horse meat and various reptiles and ravens. Disgusting? Isn’t…

The Meal: Much More Than Eating

Posted on February 13th, 2012

A three-cheese fondue filled my belly a number of weeks ago and nearly two years before that. I had invited my friends to share this meal before I left for Europe and again when I returned home. Both times I used Swiss cheeses, imported into the states, boxed cooking wine, and dipping ingredients that were not traditional to this Alpine meal. Presumably, I could have made a “better” fondue at any time during my European stay, but these two meals were The Best I had ever had. I was sharing food and time and conversation with my favorite people in the world, and I didn’t care about the freshness of the cheese, the container of the cooking wine, nor the choice of food bits…