Posted on February 14th, 2013
Lover One: 100 Grand?
Lover Two: No. Thanks, I have a Snickers. But, I miss Skittles, I want to Taste The Rainbow. Peeps give me Hershey’s Kisses and Tootsie Rolls and all the Good and Plenty I ask for. Sugar Daddys galore. We cruise ’round the Milky Way.
Lover Three: You want to go for an Almond Joy ride?
Lover Two: Yes, thank you. Now, I want some Swedish Fish Mafia…my BBBBBaby Ruth back, my Bbbbbaby Ruth back? HAAHAHHA.
Lover One: WhatChaMaCallIt?
Lover Three: Bbbbbbbaby Ruth back, Bbbbbbbaby Ruth back, can I bbbbbbbuild you a Gingerbbbbbread House? ..You know, out of MMMMMM&MMMMMM’s?
Lover Two : I do, I do! But, how ‘bout a fffffffffriggin’ PAYDAY…. Mr. Bigglesworth!
Lover Three: Great, now I am a hairless cat. 100 Grand and Payday, is there even a difference?
Lover One: Yes, of course, you LemonHead. 100 Grand is delicious Hershey’s chocolate, caramel, and crisped rice and has ⅙ the protein and the slogan is “That’s Rich!”, “That’s Rich!” GET IT!..A PAYDAY! A Payday? Peanuts! With smidgen of salt and caramel, simple barely worth the…time to gggget the wrapper off.
Lover Two: But, it can all be simple, so simple! I want both, WU Forever!
Lovers One and Three: Huh?
Lover Two: Nerds. YES?! NO?! I WANT BOTH. With a Red Vine ladder, to climb to Mars, and slide back down on Fruit Roll Up chutes. SPLASH! An ocean of Kool-Aid and milkshakes. I have a LifeSaver and a Mr.Goodbar. You know? And, the sun shines bright and when it rains? A Big Hunk with an umbrella and a Jolly Rancher, who says “No worries! Looks like a good day to build a fort. Replete with marshmallow pillows, SweetTart towers and Laffy Taffy terraces….
Lover One: And WarHead cannons?”
Lover Three: (rolls his eyes) WarHead cannons?
Lover Three: For the pirates…
Lover Three: Yes. Exactly!
Lover One: Ok. Hold on. I have something, I must confess, if you don’t know already, I AM a pirate!
Lover Two: Haha..You? No. Too innocent.
Lover Three: Too honest. Alas, no pirate’s life for thee…
Lover One: Ha! Me first taste of stolen booty….Snickers…. age 8 or was it 18? Dunno, Who cares?! Then? Showered in Hershey’s Kisses, Tootsie Rolls and Good and Plenty. Now and Later? Fancied meself a real swashbuckler. Went all Salt Water Taffy and stole me lolli from me town plunder pit. Got cold heart Gobstoppered. Th’ outcome? Grand Theft Chupa Chups. 2 tides probation. No Pez, no plunderin’. Mandatory Candy Button scraping. Lesson learnt. Real sour barnacle patch on a Necco Wafer lesson too. Didn’t serve me, do it all over again though, just to bring you a Ring Pop, two.
Lover Two: Ring Pop? For Me?
Lover Three: Haha. You are no Blackbeard, Hook, or probably not even Smee.
Lover Two: Yea, three is right. Too many Mary Janes there, Peter Pan?
Lover One: Straight on ‘til morning. Now what do you say? Jelly Belly!
Lover Three: Right on! Take my Atomic Fireball!
Lover One: Not if you taste my Pop Rocks first!
Lover Two: Uggh. You Milk Duds.
Passerby: Can I offer you a Pixie Stick?
Lover Two: Umm. Sure. You are my LifeSaver. Time for a 5th Avenue?
Passerby: Candy Necklace? For a Blow Pop? Sure.
Lover Two: Chuckles. Don’t be rude. But, later on you could have my Peach Blossom and maybe even my Penaut Butter Cup 😉