In the year 2013, I resolve to . . . (check at least 3)

 

___ . . . be nicer to people who drink blended Scotch.

 

___ . . . admit that sour cream can substitute for crème fraîche.

 

___ . . . stop insisting that gastropubs are “over.”

 

___ . . . learn to say “grass fed” without smugly narrowing eyes and smirking.

 

___ . . . eat quinoa less ostentatiously.

 

___ . . . accept that waitresses may not know the exact latitude & longitude of the dollar oysters’ home waters.

 

___ . . . refrain from lecturing on yeast ecology every time someone misuses the word “ale.”

 

 

 

 

___ . . . remember that sweet potato fries can also be made with regular potatoes.

 

___ . . . calm down about vodka martinis. Seriously.

 

___ . . . do not tell roommates that the apartment’s distance from the nearest raw bar is a “deal breaker.”

 

___ . . . limit brunch to twice per week.

 

___ . . . stop teaching nieces & nephews that milk chocolate is a “perversion.”

 

___ . . . remove “Longtime CSA Subscriber” from résumé.

 

___ . . . get through a whole burger without mentioning that Kobe beef tasting last weekend.

 

___ . . . stop drinking Brandy Alexanders ironically.

 

___ . . . try normal lettuce.